Area Dad Forced To Wear Cone To Stop Him Licking Vasectomy Wound
After an overnight stay at the hospital following his recent vasectomy, area dad Kurt Weinhart was made to wear a...
Billions of Cicadas Emerge After Shedding Their Quarantine Bodies
After a long period of isolation, the insects are finally ready to re-enter society....
Area Man Thinks Coworker Should Have A Natural Birth
According to eyewitnesses early this morning, area man Brett Hartland announced to a group of female colleagues that he is...
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We Tried 6 Different Resistance Bands And They All Tasted Horrible
Resistance bands have made a name for themselves in the world of physical betterment, with many gym rats praising these affordable, easily storable, highly effective tools. However, we tried the six top resistance bands on the market, and we have...
4 Exercises You Could Do If You Were That Pokémon With 4 Arms
Do you have four arms like that one Pokémon Machamp? If so, the hows and whys aren’t important. What is important is that you use those extra limbs to get nice and swole. These exercises will keep you from looking...
4 Ways You Can Use Your Dildos As Cooking Hacks
Dildos are great, but did you know they have many uses other than just bringing sexual pleasure? Dildos are actually extremely useful in the kitchen! Here are the five best ways to cook some delicious food with your favorite piece...
Happy Pride Month: These Guys Are Finally Coming Out After 17 Years
They're ready to spend all of June celebrating....
Evil Bitch Of A Friend Wants To Know If You Want To Join Her Run Tomorrow Morning
In a recent incident that has since been described as deeply inconsiderate, area woman Paige Saunders asked her friend Sara Bolen if she’d like to join her run the next morning. At the time of the incident, witnesses confirm that...
5 Thoughtless Little Gifts From The TJ Maxx Checkout Aisle For The Woman Who Gave You Life
Remember, Mother’s Day is this Sunday, May 9th! These five inexpensive, throwaway gifts that you tossed into your cart right before you went to the register will show the woman who brought you into this world that you barely think...
Dreading That Colonoscopy Tomorrow? Here’s An Ab Workout To Dread Even More
Dreading that colonoscopy tomorrow? Well, take one look at this ab workout, and you’ll be begging to have that long, snaking tube inserted into the depths of your rectum. Having a camera forcibly inserted into your bowels is a piece...
5 Cute Running Outfits To Limp Back To The House In While Grasping The Stitch In Your Side
Exercise doesn’t have to be all bad! Who says you can’t look cute for your daily run? Here are five fits to rock for the five minutes of your jog before your body cries uncle and you inevitably have to...