NEWS

Hansel And Gretel Remake To Feature Gluten-Free Breadcrumbs

Paramount executives have announced that this year’s upcoming adaptation of Hansel and Gretel will feature gluten-free breadcrumbs to replace the wheat breadcrumbs seen in other versions.

The iconic breadcrumbs, dropped on the path to make sure that the heroic Hansel and Gretel can find their way out of the witch’s forest, are being altered to appeal to gluten sensitive and celiac audiences.

“It’s our pleasure to announce that the role of the breadcrumbs in our film will be played by gluten-free breadcrumbs,” said director Marvin Day. “This is just our first step to increasing the representation of healthier carbohydrates in media.”

While many health-conscious fans have embraced the change, some avid Brothers Grimm fans have been up in arms, even threatening to boycott the film.

“Gluten-free breadcrumbs?” asked infuriated fan Dennis Harper. “Hansel and Gretel’s breadcrumbs have always had wheat in them, and changing that is a disgraceful insult to fans everywhere.”

“The casting of the breadcrumbs is an unacceptable decision, and Paramount should be ashamed to be catering to the liberal media. Hashtag not my crumbs.”

Despite the backlash, critics are saying that the change adds a progressive and modern spin to the film, which is set in 1800s Germany.

At press time, executives were announcing that the witch’s candy won’t feature any artificial sweeteners or hydrogenated oils.

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