NEWS

Report: Man Sampling Vanilla Ice Cream

Witnesses at the Big Scoops ice cream parlor in Stamford, Connecticut are confirming that area man Floyd Williams just asked to sample the business’ classic vanilla ice cream.

“Could I try some of the vanilla?” asked Williams, who somehow didn’t know, or couldn’t imagine, how vanilla ice cream tastes. Big Scoops management confirms that Williams requested the sample after taking over three minutes to look at the ice cream parlor’s over 50 flavors.

Big Scoops employee Adrian Cleft commented that it was the first time anyone has asked to sample vanilla.

“Here at Big Scoops, we’re known for some of our more inventive flavors,” said Cleft. “People ask to sample Cookie Monster, Rum Raisin, Superman, Galaxy Swirl, and Strawberry Cheesecake all the time. But most people who come in here know what vanilla tastes like.”

Reports show that after tasting the small spoonful of sad, plain, vanilla, a pensive or surprised expression grew on Williams’ face, as if he was tasting something new or unexpected. However, Williams simply thanked Cleft and then left the store without purchasing anything.

“It wasn’t even Vanilla Bean or French Vanilla,” said Cleft. “Just plain old vanilla.”

Harrowing new details confirm that Williams returned to Big Scoops the very next day and asked to sample Chocolate.

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