WELLNESS

Cyberbully’s Behavior Caused By Viruses Of His Own

Psychologists responsible for the analysis of twelve-year-old cyberbully Dennis Haverforth have concluded that Haverforth’s behavior is caused by his own viruses. 

“While Dennis creates a tough exterior when he hides behind his screen, he’s actually just a sensitive young man whose software malfunctioned when he was abused by his father in his formative years,” said Dr. June Samson. “It appears that these traumatic memories hacked his system and overwrote his entire script.”

This past Thursday, Haverforth used Facebook to message a student in his grade with a learning disability.

“You’re so bad at reading, I bet you can’t even read this,” Haverforth typed.

While such behavior appears to be the result of a purely-bad natured personality traits, Dr. Samson’s team has suggested that Haverforth’s brain is the host of a great amount of malware due to the corruption of his motherboard.

Dr. Samson theorized that Haverforth’s negative programming caused by childhood trauma is what makes him comment on meditation YouTube videos things like “I’m going to come to your house and slaughter your cat.”

Other cases like Haverforth’s suggest that the bully will eventually crash, causing minimized emotions and memories to pop up. 

At press time, Haverforth hid his slow performance and corrupted operating system by livestreaming a rant about how much he hates the student in his grade with a wheeling backpack.

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