‘Please Give Me Your Baggage,’ Says Flight Attendant Who Thinks She Can Handle Whole Lifetime Of Emotional Abuse

According to passenger Harry Meyers, an Austrian Airlines flight attendant requested that he hand her his baggage, as if she could handle an entire lifetime of emotional abuse from friends, lovers, and family.

“I really don’t think you want my baggage,” said Meyers, referring to his fractured relationship with his father and the girlfriend that just left him for his best friend. “But if you insist, I guess.”

While flight attendant Sophia Bauer eventually became frustrated with Meyers’ reluctance to hand over his baggage, sources confirmed that she certainly didn’t know what she was getting herself into.

Meyers, standing in the middle of the aisle, launched into a heart-wrenching account about how the only reason his father died was because Meyers never worked hard enough in school so that he could earn enough and pay for his chemo.

“Sir, I mean your baggage,” said Bauer, pointing to the overstuffed duffel in Meyers’ hands that he was ignoring.

“Oh, you don’t think that’s baggage?” asked Meyers, holding up a line of passengers trying to get to their seats. “Well how about the time my father put my mother in the hospital because he blamed her for how physically weak I was? Huh?”

Although Bauer again tried to inform Meyers that she was talking about his duffel, this just caused Meyers to go off on another monologue about how he’s never met his younger sister.

At press time, Bauer tried using the word “luggage” instead.


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