NEWS

Lobster Finishing Undergrad Excited To Begin Claw School

After graduating from Atlantis University, area lobster Larry Hardshell is excited to begin three years of Claw School.

“As a pre-claw student at Atlantis, I found the work hard but rewarding,” said the studious crustacean. “I’m excited to continue my studies at the University of Fishigan, where I’m motivated to become a seagal practitioner!”

Hardshell has announced that he eventually wants to become a bubblic defender.

“I want to be a saltwater attorney because of the injustices I see in our seagal system,” said Hardshell. “I’m going to devote my life to defending the rights of blue lobsters.”

While studying at Atlantis, Hardshell earned a 3.9 SEA-PA. Although claw classes are notoriously hard at the University of Fishigan, Hardshell is determined to rise to be in the top 10% of his pod.

“Larry has always cared about eclawlity,” said Linda Hardshell, Larry’s mother. “He’s truly going to make our ecosystem a better place.”

Hardshell was last seen reading a case about an innocent crayfish who had his claws bound before being put in a tank at an American fast-casual restaurant.

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