WANDERLUST

Area Man Has Fewer Text Messages Than Expected After Airplane Lands

Witnesses confirm that area 24-year-old Joshua West didn’t receive as many texts as he had expected during his eight hour flight from New York (JFK) to Madrid (MAD) last week.

“Hm,” said West, after receiving only two texts once he turned off airplane mode. “I’m sure there’s just a delay because the service is weak.”

New reports show that one of West’s texts was from his mother and the other was an automated message from Verizon.

Despite being an extremely unpopular person to text during the hours of 8 pm and 4 am EST, West had expected at least 15 or 20 texts to pour in as soon as the plane’s wheels touched the tarmac. The apparently friendless West had been waiting for his phone to make a long procession of exciting vibrations, but he only ever felt two, proving that hardly anyone really cared about him.

“My phone is so slow,” thought West, unable to accept that not a single one of his friends had wanted to check in on him during the entire eight hours. “Just give it a minute and the floodgates will open.”

Even after turning his phone off to see if a restart would cause some messages to flood in, it became apparent that not even West’s girlfriend had texted to check in on him.

At press time, West realized he’d only received a single email.

Related posts

Area Man Knew He Should’ve Paid Attention To Flight Safety Briefing

The Whole Wheat Post

Airplane Waste Tanks Recycled Into Food

The Whole Wheat Post

New Boeing 737 Max To Flap During Takeoff And Landing

The Whole Wheat Post