FITNESS

‘That Guy Should Be Wearing A Helmet,’ Report Nation’s Moms

While out on a Sunday stroll with their families, the nation’s moms were reportedly quick to comment that the teenager skateboarding by was not wearing a helmet. 

“That guy should be wearing a helmet,” commented area mom Suzanne Blodgett to her husband and daughter in tow. “Who does he think he is, Mr. Invincible?”

“If I ever caught you going down the street like that without a helmet,” Blodgett later reminded her own teenage daughter, “you’d better believe there’d be trouble.”

Witnesses report that the nation’s moms have insider information regarding what happens to those who forgo wearing helmets. 

“Mom’s always talking about her friend Claire who works in a hospital or something and is always treating brain-dead cyclists,” said Blodgett’s daughter, Mary. “Like, I get it. Also, I’ve never not worn a helmet, so I don’t know why she’s always freaking out over this.” 

At press time, the nation’s sons were seen speeding down the nation’s highways without wearing their seatbelts.

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