NEWS

Housemate To Eat Weird Meal In Car

Reports are showing that housemate Richard Dillon of 722 Cherrybrook in Houston, Texas will be eating his strange meal of baked beans, hard-boiled eggs, chicken salad, and hot dog stir-fry in his car.

Witnesses confirm that Dillon first tried to sneak out the back door with his culinary creation, but he was caught by three of his housemates in the living room, all of whom were curious as to where he was going.

“I’m just going for a drive,” said Dillon, suspiciously carrying something steaming under three layers of paper towels. “I should be back soon, in about 15 minutes or so.”

Dillon then had the privacy to devour his monstrosity in the safety of his Mini Cooper, where he could be sure that none of his housemates would ask him what the hell he was eating.

Some reports show that Dillon could be heard by a few passersby, moaning in complete ecstasy as he relished the meal that he was afraid to eat in the company of others.

“Oh, yeah,” Dillon could be heard saying, as he slathered pieces of hotdog in mayonnaise.

At one point during Dillon’s secret meal, housemate Mark Braunstein passed Dillon’s car to go for a walk and was confused as to why Dillon hadn’t left yet.

“Uh, I’m still choosing a song,” said Dillon, hiding his ungodly plate, now slathered with baked beans and mayonnaise, on the floor.

At press time, Dillon had decided that tomorrow he’d just take his guilty pleasure to his room and lock the door.

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