Spinach: Looks good but shrivels down to absolutely nothing
Onion: Can’t even look at this one without crying
Tomato: This one’s a complete fruit
Broccoli: Do not even get us started on broccoli
Beetroot: Next
Potato: If this one were a person, it would be your mom
Zucchini: Cucumber’s disabled cousin
Mushroom: The only good thing about mushroom is that sometimes it’s poisonous and will kill you so you don’t have to remember the terrible experience of eating a mushroom
Cauliflower: The disgusting prototype of broccoli
Romaine: Has absolutely no substance
Eggplant: Bad 99.8% of the time
Carrot: Oh my god, ew
Cucumber: If the entire nation of England were a vegetable, it would be a cucumber
Butternut Squash: Only relevant during one month of the year
Pepper: Pepper is actually good. Leave pepper alone.
Scallion: So irrelevant that we can’t remember if this is a vegetable or seafood
Asparagus: Bad
Pea: Pea? More like piss