NEWS

Area Child Squanders Birthday Wish On Peace In The Middle East

After blowing out the candles on his Ninja Turtles cake in celebration of turning nine, Aiden Spencer is reported to have completely wasted his annual birthday wish on peace in the Middle East. 

“I wish that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict would come to an end,” muttered Aiden under his breath, rashly assuming that his having learned about Israel and Palestine that afternoon in social studies could possibly have an impact on the outcome of decades of unrest. 

“I don’t know why Aiden didn’t just wish for something like a new bike or Hot Wheels — something he could have actually gotten,” said Aiden’s father, Joshua Spencer. “Instead, he had to go and throw out his wish on something altruistic.” 

Other witnesses have noted that, considering the thousands of prayers sent by Israelis and Palestinians every day, as well as the many interest groups and governments dedicated to resolving the violence, it is unlikely Aiden’s ninth birthday wish will be the thing to tip the scales.

“Anyway,” added Mr. Spencer, “the fact he told us what his wish was means it’s definitely not going to come true.”

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