WELLNESS

‘I’m Terrible At Working Out,’ Says Man Who Is Just Lazy

According to his roommates, area man Ben Saunders has claimed to be bad at working out, despite the fact that he is just lazy.

“Exercise just isn’t for me,” said Saunders, who hasn’t attempted to workout in over six months. “I’m just so bad at it.”

Despite having reasonable hand-eye coordination and above average natural strength for a 22-year-old, Saunders insists that he is, somehow, incompetent at every single form of exercise.

“I’m so bad at running,” said Saunders, who has never attempted to improve at running in any way. “And my joints just really weren’t made to lift weights.”

Witnesses have confirmed that Saunders went to a local Planet Fitness eight months ago, where he did nothing except stare at a TV and occasionally nod at other gym members.

Some reports show that Saunders eventually attempted a set of dumbbell curls, before abandoning the exercise to look at Instagram.

“I’d love to be one of those people who’s good at exercising,” said Saunders, lounging on his living room couch as he flipped TV channels. “I really admire people who can go to the gym at least once or twice a week.”

At press time, Saunders had made no attempt to change his lifestyle.

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