FITNESS

Nation’s Lefties Begin Training For Paralympics

The United States’ left-handed individuals have officially started training for the 2021 Paralympic Games in Tokyo, Japan.

According to witnesses, these unconventional athletes train the exact same way as normal people, except they use their left hands instead of their right.

“I’ve never let my disability hold me back,” said archer Jack Conway, who was born left-handed. “Even though my left is stronger than my right, I’m going for the gold.”

Critics have praised the Paralympic Games committee for allowing lefties to participate. Although a dominant left hand is a disability arguably more debilitating than any other, the games serve as a great source of representation and pride for lefties nationwide.

“The Paralympic Games allow athletes like me to finally be on a level playing field,” said long jumper Matthew Grayson, whose dominant hand is tragically his left. “It’s a great event where our disabilities don’t mean we’re disadvantaged.”

“My whole life, I was told I’m different from everyone else,” continued the freak of nature. “But I’m here to prove that different is better.”

While seeing athletes dominantly use their left hands has been derided as “disgusting” and “off-putting” by many viewers, left-handed events often draw large crowds due to the curiosity that such an unnatural defect provokes.

The games are set to include over 100 lefty participants, making it the largest athletic gathering of left-handed monsters since the 2016 Paralympic Games in Rio.

Related posts

3 Kegel Exercises For A Fucking Ripped Pelvic Floor

The Whole Wheat Post

‘That Guy Should Be Wearing A Helmet,’ Report Nation’s Moms

The Whole Wheat Post

Dreading That Colonoscopy Tomorrow? Here’s An Ab Workout To Dread Even More