RELATIONSHIPS

Oh Fuck Yes: There’s Finally A New Sexuality For Straight Men Who Are Attracted To Chris Hemsworth

Straight men, rejoice! After years of anticipation, we’re finally being brought what we’ve all been waiting for — a new sexuality that allows us to jerk it to the God of Thunder without being gay!

Leading gender and sexuality researchers at universities around the world announced the new sexuality after unanimously agreeing that it’s not necessarily gay to fantasize about the tall, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, and incredibly jacked Aussie.

“While male attraction to other males is generally considered homosexual, we have decided to make an exception for attraction to Mr. Hemsworth,” announced Professor Mohammed Anand of Harvard College. “We’ve decided to create a new category altogether because it’s clearly unfair to label someone as gay just because they’re attracted to the irresistable Australian accent that flows from the strongest avenger’s voice like pure music.”

Well, there we have it — straight from the horse’s mouth! Now no man has to live in fear of being called gay just because he gets the hardest of hard-ons from staring at the secretary in the Ghostbusters remake — it’s all perfectly natural!

The new sexuality finally gives representation on the rainbow flag to men who are attracted to only women and also Chris Hemsworth. After all this time, it must be so great to finally be heard!

 

Image license details here

Related posts

Report: It Unclear Why Girlfriend Laughing During Sex

The Whole Wheat Post

We Promised Our Girlfriend That She Could Write An Article For This Site So Please Don’t Be Too Harsh And Here It Is

The Whole Wheat Post

Triumphant At Last: We Have Beat Our Girlfriend At Sex

The Whole Wheat Post