NEWS

Vegans, Rejoice! PETA Just Announced That Egalitarianism Is Cruel To Eagles

Finally, the good people over at PETA have made the announcement that we’ve all been waiting for. At long last, the organization has agreed that egalitarianism is cruel to eagles.

“We have decided that egalitarianism, the barbaric practice of eating eagles, is no longer acceptable in our society,” PETA said on Twitter this Thursday. “Anyone who is caught engaging in egalitarianism deserves to be shot or eaten.”

Animal lovers on Twitter responded with great enthusiasm, praising PETA for denouncing the evil practice of egalitarianism.

“Down with egalitarianism!!!” responded one animal lover, hoping to create a movement that will make egalitarianism illegal forever.

“We will not stop until egalitarianism no longer exists,” said PETA spokesperson Anthony Hawkins. “Eagles are beautiful creatures and don’t deserve to be eaten anymore than you or me.”

It really is great to see so many people coming together and rallying around one noble cause. Egalitarianism really just seems to take away all the progress we’ve made in the last decade, so we need as many people as possible to get out there and make it clear to our governments — we hate egalitarianism!

Well, if this doesn’t bring a tear to the eye of every animal lover out there, I don’t know what would. Great job, PETA! Down with egalitarianism!

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