Witnesses confirm that area man Luke Tyler recently subtracted an entire three pounds from the number that appeared on his bathroom scale, to account for his attire.
“My clothes are pretty heavy, so it makes sense for me to take a couple pounds off,” said Tyler, whose lightweight workout clothes weigh not even one pound. “It definitely made the reading more accurate.”
Tyler allegedly left the gym ecstatic that he’d lost ten pounds this month, when in reality, he’s only lost seven.
“I’m almost reaching my goal weight,” said Tyler, who was exactly three pounds behind almost reaching his goal weight.
Figuring that the meal he ate an hour before arriving at the gym probably weighed around one pound, Tyler later subtracted yet another pound from his already inaccurate weight.
“I can’t believe how quickly I’m seeing results,” said Tyler, who is actually seeing results much more slowly than he thinks. “It really goes to show that hard work pays off.”
After weighing himself the following day, Tyler reportedly subtracted a full four pounds from his scale reading because he was wearing sweatpants instead of shorts.
Recent reports show that Tyler is also guilty of removing his phone from his pocket before he stands on the scale.