NEWS

Dole Under Fire For Unethical Treatment Of Pineapples

Following a three-week investigation, FDA officials are accusing fruit company Dole of produce-rights violations.

“Our findings show that Dole has been keeping their fruit in tiny, crowded boxes with little access to sunlight or water,” said FDA spokesperson Martha Duncan. “Some of these pineapples are overripening before they even reach supermarkets.”

The abusive conditions, including high temperatures and moist air in transit, are causing some of the pineapples’ leaves to wither.

Not only are the thorny fruits experiencing abuse in transit, but eyewitnesses report that in the fields, pineapples are being savagely cut off from their roots and stolen from their homes.

“I can’t stay silent any longer,” said Dole field employee Donna Hernandez, responsible for uprooting and separating thousands of fruits from their plantations. “We never knew it was wrong, but now we can’t even begin to imagine the intense physical and emotional traumas to which we subjected these beautiful plants.”

“Dole is choosing not to respond these allegations until further investigations are made,” said CEO of Dole and fruit abuser David H. Murdock. “But I will say that how our company chooses to handle our produce is none of anyone else’s business.”

At press time, the FDA also found that innocent bananas are being separated from their bunches.

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