NEWS

Pathetic Man Eating At Japanese Restaurant Requests Fork

Witnesses at Haiku Sushi in New Rochelle, New York have confirmed reports that area weakling Benjamin Miller requested a fork after fumbling with his chopsticks for a few minutes.

“I think I need a fork,” said Miller, after failing to pick up any substantial piece of food, despite the ease and simplicity of using the Asian utensil. “I can’t eat anything with these things.”

Miller was eating chicken teriyaki at the time of the request, which should have been a simple enough meal to enjoy with chopsticks had he not been so pitifully incompetent.

“Excuse me, could I have a fork please?” asked Miller, not acknowledging the crushing defeat which he was admitting to the world. 

Miller was soon brought a knife, fork, and spoon by his server, delivering the cutlery in judgment of Miller’s lack of skill and overall weakness. The pitiful Miller also received glares from fellow restaurant patrons, staring at him in disbelief that a man so impotent could ever exist.

Miller enjoyed the rest of his meal without realizing just how much he and his entire party were disgraced by his actions.

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