NEWS

Tropical Storm Decimates Global Coconut Shrimp Population

Recent reports show that tropical storm Brian has greatly threatened the ocean’s population of Coconut Shrimp.

The reports are especially concerning to researchers because Coconut Shrimp, which are found in the Caribbean Sea, have been an endangered species for the past five years.

“If this year’s hurricane season is any worse than last year, the Coconut Shrimp might cease to exist altogether,” said NOAA researcher Joseph Michaels. “Coconut Shrimp are already subject to overfishing due to their naturally-occurring crispy skin that pairs extremely well with orange-chili dipping sauce.”

The tropical storm has caused large quantities of Coconut Shrimp to wash up on the beautiful beaches of Jamaica and the Dominican Republic, giving tourists a crunchy taste of Caribbean ocean life.

“The tropical storm happening during my vacation was certainly unfortunate,” said resort-goer Jeffrey Stevens, taking sips of pina colada between munching on Coconut Shrimp. “But at least my family and I had the opportunity to experience some of the ocean’s finest coconut-flavored seafood.”

Witnesses confirm that Caribbean restaurant owners were collecting hundreds of the delectable crustaceans in woven baskets.

“Coconut Shrimp are already deep-fried when they wash up on shores, so they make for a cheap and delicious addition to our menu,” stated one Jamaican restaurant owner.

According to experts, the shrimp’s delicious crunch definitely doesn’t help with its status as an endangered species.

At press time, NOAA researchers were studying the effects of hurricanes on the Spicy Tuna population.

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