NUTRITION

Woman On Diet Getting Off On Friend Eating Donut

Eyewitnesses confirm that area dieter Marcia Jackson is vicariously experiencing the ecstasy of eating a donut through her friend Bella Cahan.

“Oh, yeah,” moaned Jackson, drooling as she watched Cahan take a bite out of the chocolate treat. “Right there. Oh, yes, right there!”

Sources confirm that Jackson has now been on a diet for five days, during which she has avoided all desserts and most simple carbohydrates.

“Keep going, keep going!” begged Jackson, eager to watch Cahan lick off some more of the frosting. “Please, don’t stop, just don’t stop.”

Although initially tolerant of her friend’s desperate outbursts, Cahan admitted that she became irritated when Jackson wouldn’t stop sniffing a napkin that had touched the donut.

“Oh my god, that’s good,” said Jackson, deriving a complicated type of pleasure as she buried her nose in the napkin. “Keep eating, keep eating.”

Some reports suggest that Jackson was taking pictures of her friend eating the donut so that she could look at them later that night.

At press time, Jackson was offering to buy Cahan another donut.

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