Paleo Diet Under Review After Researchers Find Paleolithic Humans Also Ate Marshmallow Peeps

Leading dietitians have announced that the Paleo Diet is under review after finding that humans who lived during the Paleolithic era also ate large quantities of Marshmallow Peeps.

“We’re still figuring out how to rework the diet, but it seems like the only reasonable option is to allow Marshmallow Peeps to be incorporated into Paleo,” said registered dietitian Daniel Jones.

The Paleo Diet, in which participants consume the same foods that were available to our paleolithic ancestors, consists of mainly meat, nuts, and certain vegetables. Many health officials and nutritionists are recommending that everyone on the diet should also eat at least three servings of Peeps per day.

“Marshmallow Peeps are now recognized as an extremely important part of the early human’s diet,” said researcher Harry May. “In order to get the benefits sought by people who go on the Paleo diet, it only makes sense that they should be eating tens of boxes of fun-shaped marshmallows per month.”

“We’re not exactly sure yet what the benefits of Peeps are or what nutrients they provide, but it would be against the spirit of the diet to exclude them,” continued May.

The evidence, which comes mainly from cave drawings of holiday-themed Peeps, also shows that Paleolithic humans enjoyed different Peeps varieties based on the season. Researchers believe that Jack-O-Lanterns were popular during Halloween, snowmen were popular during winter, and, interestingly, the classic yellow chick stayed a fan favorite all year long.

After the announcement, thousands of people who had seen Paleo as being too difficult have decided to finally give the diet a try.

“At first, cutting out bread was a deal breaker,” said dieter Sally Reisman, “but now that I can eat all the delicious Peeps I want, I’m in.”

At press time, scientists were adjusting the food pyramid to include a large base section for the delicious, nutritious treat.

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