White House sources have confirmed that, since taking office, Donald Trump has spent 25% of his presidency stuck in the sand traps at his Mar-a-Lago resort.
According to reports, the president’s repeated trips to his golf courses’ hazards have cost taxpayers over $100 million — and have cost his scorecard over 100 points.
“I play golf to relax,” said President Trump, as he hitched up his pants to fish another shot out of the lake. “But at the same time, no other president ever worked as hard as I do. You didn’t see Obama working up a sweat when he was out here on the green.”
Responses from Americans as to Donald Trump’s leisurely activities have varied — with some claiming that the amount of time the president has spent out of the White House is a national embarrassment, and yet others claiming that the “real” national embarrassment is the president’s “horrendous bunker shot.”
“I like to think the commander-in-chief knows more about running the country than I do,” said democrat Chelsea Gonzalez. “But even I know not to use the sand wedge when hitting out of the weeds.”
“It’s hard to watch helplessly as the president digs himself in deeper and deeper,” said republican Jacob Lichtenstein.
Analysts confirm that Mar-a-Lago’s man-made golf hazards reportedly consume 25% of the president’s time, as well as 25% of his golf shots.
At press time, President Trump was considering switching to miniature golf — a potentially better fit for his miniature hands.