After years of searching, we’ve finally found the holy grail — lose 50 pounds in a single day with this one simple pill that will cause one of your legs, and all of its weight, to come right off!
Wow! Never again will anyone ever have to go on a diet or take daily diet pills, because this new miracle is a one-time, one-dose oral solution that’ll just cause the weight to disappear — literally!
If you order now, your medication will come with a thick cloth that can be tied around the bleeding stump as a tourniquet. Looks like the genius nutritionists behind this magic pill are really looking out for your health.
If you want to lose more than the weight of one of your legs, don’t worry! The pill comes in multiple other varieties, including a pill that will cause your other leg to fall off, a pill that will cause two of your limbs to dismember at random, and a pill that will cause some of those tedious, less essential organs to dissolve, like kidneys.
Leave the days of dieting behind! Never again will you have to worry about what you eat because weight loss is only a pill away.