Report: Woman Allergic To Everything

According to sources, area woman Melissa McDonald is allergic to all things. 

Witnesses state that, though McDonald long suspected she was allergic to some things, it has now been confirmed by her doctor that McDonald is allergic to everything and should stay away from anything. 

“I knew I was allergic to peanuts because every time I ate them my tongue swelled up,” said McDonald. “And I thought maybe I was allergic to latex because sometimes Band-Aids made me itchy. Little did I know I was actually allergic to plants, animals, and everything else.” 

Immediately following her diagnosis, doctors reportedly put McDonald on a very strict diet of nothing and prescribed her an EpiPen in case she comes into contact with anything else. 

“At first, adjusting to the diagnosis was pretty hard,” said McDonald. “It’s like you go your whole life being accustomed to doing certain things, and then all of a sudden you have to adjust to doing nothing. But you get used to it after a while.”

“Plus, with my condition, it’s easy to keep track of all the things I need to avoid,” McDonald added later, noting that she just “memorized the list of things she didn’t have to avoid, which was zero.”

After getting her life back on track, McDonald said she originally planned to raise awareness about people living with allergies to everything. However, she reportedly had to give up on that dream when her doctor informed her it was too dangerous — and that she was the only one.

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