Endeavoring to select a candidate for U.S. President in the lead-up to Election Day, adventurous 56-year-old Florida resident James Grindell faced the difficult decision of selecting which of the two presidential hopefuls he wanted to rail his wife.
According to other non-monogamous neighborhood sources, Grindell was sparing no effort in attempting to determine whether incumbent President Donald J. Trump or Former Vice President Joseph R. Biden was the prime nighttime suitor for his partner of 27 years.
“I’ve been struggling to decide on the ideal candidate for me and my Jenny for months now,” said the middle-aged wife-swap enthusiast, adding, “I want to make sure I understand both Trump and Biden’s go-to positions before I land on my final choice.”
“It’s come time to decide which presidential candidate best represents the people’s most intimate interests,” said Florida Senator Marco Rubio of his state’s virile electorate. “The swinging community holds the power to determine the course of a heated election that keeps arousing intense national feelings.”
At press time, the red-blooded, blue-balled voter was researching both candidates’ stances on the No Penetration Rule.