FEATURED WELLNESS

That Time Of The Month Again? How To Tell When You’re About To Turn Into A Werewolf

Tracking your cycle can be hard: just because you started on X day last month doesn’t mean you’re ready for the next. Therefore, it’s important to be in touch with the messages your body is sending you — we all know how messy and embarrassing it is to be caught unprepared. Here are some common symptoms that usually occur right before your body transforms itself into a fully-fledged werewolf.

Cramps: 

If you feel a sudden, sharp ache in your lower abdomen that turns into a constant, dull pain, this probably means that your werewolf transformation is about to start for the month. This gut-wrenching sensation is just the feeling of your muscles contracting in anticipation of bulging and eventually bursting out of your clothes later tonight. Don’t forget to pop a few Advil, or the pain’s only going to get worse.

Feeling Tired:

If you find yourself sleeping in until 11 am every morning, it could be a sign that your body is preparing for when you stay up until 6 am tearing through the woods all night.

Breakouts: 

Is your acne getting worse? Sure, this could just be a normal skin irritation, but it could also indicate that tufts of fur are about to crop up all over your person as soon as the sun goes down.

Lower Back Pain:

This is a common symptom of having been recently bitten by a werewolf and most likely means that it’s transformation time for you too. Looks like you better get used to the feeling of the eternal curse pumping through your veins. Pro tip: a heating pad usually helps!

Sore Breasts:

If your breasts feel tender and swollen, it’s pretty likely that the full moon is just around the corner. While you only have two nipples right now, female werewolves have around 10–12, so brace yourself for a lot of dividing and multiplying.

Mood Swings: 

When your mood suddenly shifts from happy to angry or sad, it’s usually because your werewolf brain is remembering when you attacked all those innocent villagers last month and is getting ready to do it again. Try not to lose control and take out your moodiness on other people, but don’t be too hard on yourself if you do: it happens to the best of us.

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