NEWS

Despondent Horse Needs Another Line Of Ketamine To Make It Through The Day

Recent reports are confirming that area horse Billy Blackjack just needs one more line of ketamine to make it through the day.

Blackjack, who works at the state fair in Boise, Idaho, can hardly complete any of his duties without first railing a line of Special K.

Some farmers have confirmed that snorting a huge helping of Ket is the first thing Blackjack does when he wakes up in the morning and the last thing he does before he goes to sleep.

According to his handlers, Blackjack was too depressed to take local 6-year-old Masie Dunham on a horseback ride around the fairgrounds — until he consumed another pile of K to get his head straight.

“He won’t do anything until I give him his tranquilizers,” said handler Daisy Mack, preparing a few doses of sweet, euphoric Kit Kat. “He won’t pose in photos, won’t let people pet him, he won’t even eat.”

Mack has occasionally attempted to cut Blackjack off, but the hopeless stallion only plummeted even further into his dejected state, pushing away any apples or sugar cubes offered to him.

According to sources who work on the farm, a large stash of the trance-inducing drug was recently found under a bale of hay in Blackjack’s stable.

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