‘This Impossible Burger Tastes So Realistic,’ Says Vegetarian Accidentally Served Beef

This past Thursday, area vegetarian Bradley Rodriguez was extremely impressed with an Impossible Burger he was served at a local tavern, oblivious to the fact that he had been mistakenly served real beef.

“This tastes exactly like real meat,” said Rodriguez, who was, in fact, eating real meat. “I’ll never miss beef ever again.”

Rodriguez, who has been a vegetarian for the past six years, named the burger the tastiest source of plant-based meat he’s ever had.

“I cook plant-based meat all the time at home, but I’ve never been able to get it to taste quite as good as this one,” Rodriguez told the waiter, whose error caused him to break his six-year streak of vegetarianism. “Maybe Impossible changed their recipe or something.”

Rodriguez gave the 100% all-beef hamburger such great reviews that he offered a bite to his girlfriend, a vegan of nine years.

“Oh my God, this is incredible,” said girlfriend Ava Graham, who had been seen protesting the meat industry just a few days earlier. “They really nailed the texture. And the way the beet juice squirts out like it’s real blood.”

After purchasing an Impossible Burger from Whole Foods and cooking it himself, Rodriguez was unsure why it wasn’t quite as good.

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