HEALTH

The Search Is Over: We’ve Finally Found A Diet Pill Under 5 Calories

Finally: after years of searching, we’ve found a diet pill that won’t send you one step forward to your weight loss goal, only to bring you two steps back. Unlike most dieting pills, this one is under five calories per serving!

Most people think the danger of taking dieting pills lies in their tendency to lead to behavioral changes, insomnia, and an increased risk of heart attack. But the real danger actually lies in the fact that you’re eating something to help you lose weight. Sound backwards? That’s because it is! 

Regular diet pills are horrible because they trick you into eating something in addition to what you’re already eating. Even if they suppress your appetite, it doesn’t matter because you just ate! That’s why we fell in love with this diet pill: at only five calories per pill, this wonder drug will barely register next time you step onto the scale. And it only has 50 potential side effects! 

Still, we recommend proceeding with caution. Don’t forget that this diet pill is still an entire five calories per serving. If you take this medication, you will need to go on a diet until all those calories have been flushed out of your system. And that goes for every time you take the pill. After all, that’s why it’s called a diet pill. 

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