HEALTH

This Low-Calorie Wine Does Wonders For Our Waistline But Nothing For Our Drinking Problem

There are few things in life worse than being on a strict diet and not being allowed to have a glass of wine — or five — at the end of the day. Lucky for us, we recently discovered ThinWine, a low-calorie wine that’ll keep you skinny and also keep you addicted to alcohol.

ThinWine thankfully doesn’t sacrifice alcohol content for its low-calorie profile. So we can get even more drunk for fewer calories? Count us in!

Finally, we can drink as much as we want without getting fat. It’s a dream come true, except for the part where we guzzle two bottles every single night and can’t function properly the next day. But, hey — who can blame us? Everyone knows it’s easiest to get addicted to low-calorie alcohol because it practically has no negative consequences.

We’ll take substance dependency over getting fat any day!

At only three grams of carbs per glass, there’s practically no reason not to drink this stuff — of course, excluding the fact that you promised your husband you could be sober for a few months.

This wine will keep you so sexy, your husband won’t even care that you’ve relapsed.

Drinking ThinWine will keep that weight off your thighs, but it’ll probably also cause you to scream at the kids like you always do when you get drunk. Worth it!

Want to stay out of Weight Watchers so you’ll have more time for Alcoholics Anonymous? Drink ThinWine.

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