FEATURED WELLNESS

Gwyneth Paltrow Releases Asshole-Scented Candle

Following the success of her infamous vagina-scented candle, Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop has released a candle designed to smell like her butthole.

“Our new ‘This Smells Like My Asshole’ candle embodies the warmth, seduction, and raw human essence that we all crave,” said Paltrow. “Our product development team has worked tirelessly to ensure that this product will remind you of the succulent aroma of my anus.”

At $75, the Goop marketing team has warned that the bunghole-flavored soy candle has almost sold out.

The 10.5-ounce candle will burn for 60+ hours, providing users with plenty of time to soak up the stench of Gwyneth Paltrow’s pooper.

Initial reviewers have described the candle’s scent as “rich,” “wet,” and “explosive.” In addition to lovers of the Goop brand, the product has proven to be popular with perverts and scat fetishists alike.

“I just wanted to share the scent of my chocolate pocket with the world,” continued Paltrow. “With such a unique fragrance, it’s not fair that I’m the only one who gets to smell it.”

Some product developers have spoken publicly about the process of developing the candle, which included getting on their knees and sniffing Paltrow’s brown eye for inspiration.

In her latest interview, Paltrow claimed that the erotic, cornhole-scented product has healing properties known to cure a long list of mental illnesses.

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