FEATURED FITNESS

Man Wiping Down Equipment At Gym Just Going Through The Motions

Witnesses are claiming that area man Quentin Leeds was just going through the motions as he wiped down a bench at the gym.

“It looked like he was just faking it so no one would think he was disgusting for walking out without wiping the bench,” said area gym-goer Clara Marcus. “That half-assed wiping gesture was completely performative.”

Despite using a bench for almost 40 minutes, Leeds was just lightly grazing its surface with an antibacterial wipe. Onlookers confirm that Leeds sweat enough to require a deep scrub, but he was just sort of vaguely dragging the wipe along the moist areas.

“I’m not even sure if the wipe was touching the bench or not,” said Matthew Greenman, who had been using the chest press machine. “It’s pretty obvious to me that he doesn’t actually care about hygiene and the only reason he wiped down the equipment at all was to appease everyone else.”

Other gym patrons even suspect Leeds did such a terrible job that the wet spots remaining on the bench were still from his sweat instead of the trail from the gym’s complimentary wipe.

After four sets at the shoulder press, Leeds figured no one was watching him and it was probably fine if he just left without wiping it down.

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