Alright, so we know this isn’t the content we normally post, but just hear us out on this one. Our girlfriend has been nagging us for a whole week now about writing an article for this site, so could you just throw us a bone and read it?
Seriously, don’t expect much, but just sort of skim it and nod and smile so that she feels good. She’s been on our case for a while now about getting something published, so we thought we could just let her do it this one time. It would make her really happy. I can’t stress enough that’s it’s probably not going to be any good at all, but it would really mean a lot to her if you would read it.
We know this isn’t our regularly scheduled content, but maybe you’ll actually enjoy it? She’s sort of smart sometimes, and maybe this article will actually speak to you or provide some useful information? Even if it doesn’t, we totally understand and probably should’ve expected it. She’s not that talented but maybe it’ll just randomly be good, you know?
Remember, even if it’s not good, you probably shouldn’t say anything because she’s really fragile. Just pretend to read it, and you don’t even have to share it with anyone. Maybe give it a thumbs up or something. We know this is annoying but we think it would make her happy.
Look, we can’t reiterate enough that this is probably going to be really bad, so we just want to prepare you for that, okay? Got it? Alright. Well, here goes nothing:
4 Reasons Why Salmon Is Such A Healthy Fish!
- Salmon is a great source of Omega-3 Fatty Acids!
- Salmon is high in B Vitamins!
- Salmon is rich in protein!
- Salmon may reduce the risk of heart disease!
Okay, was that so bad? We know it’s not what we normally post, but that wasn’t that bad, was it? It was pretty good, right? Ah, who are we kidding, it was mediocre. You know what, it wasn’t even mediocre, it was just okay. Scratch that, it wasn’t okay at all, it was the worst thing we’ve ever read in our lives.
But please let her down easy, okay? She really doesn’t respond that well to criticism, so maybe you could send her a nice note and thank her for posting the article? You could tell her you learned something, maybe? We think she would really appreciate that.
Hopefully she doesn’t ask us if she can post another one again because, not to sound mean here or anything, but that definitely wasn’t our best piece of content ever. We’re going to tell her it was great, though, so could you do us a favor and tell her the same thing? It might be a little confusing for her if one of us says it was great and the other tells the truth.
Look, we just wanted to thank you because we know that wasn’t easy. It was definitely pretty tough to get through that, but you did a really good job at making her feel comfortable and pretending to think it was good. We want to say thank you for that and also we would pay you but we don’t have any money.
And remember, if she ever posts anything on here again, it’s the same deal; let her down easy, alright?