It’s come to our attention that some of our more complicated recipes have been going over your simple, simple head. That’s why we’ve hand-picked these four other recipes that’ll be practically impossible for you to mess up. Got it? We know your limited intellect makes it so that cooking or following directions aren’t your strong suits, but these are just as basic as you are. Ready? Remember to read slowly so that you understand all the sentences.
1. Peanut Butter Sandwich
This peanut butter sandwich is perfect for you because it’s so easy that you could make it even if you had a lobotomy. You take two slices of bread — it can be any type of bread, no need to think too hard about it. Then you spread peanut butter on each slice. Then you clap them together, and that’s it! You have your sandwich. Got it? Make sure to read this again if it didn’t make sense to you the first time. It could help to read it all out loud. Make sure to sound out all the words.
2. Yogurt And Granola
Yogurt and granola is the perfect recipe for people who have shown a complete inability to follow recipes that call for more than two ingredients. Just like yourself! Okay, ready? First we’re going to take some yogurt from the fridge. Then we’re going to take granola from the cupboard. Then pour the granola on top of the yogurt — but make sure to take off the yogurt lid first! If you think you’ve mastered this recipe, you can get a little more fancy with it and pour the yogurt into a bowl. But it’s okay if not. This one can take practice for someone like you.
3. Baked Potato
This one’s admittedly a little harder because it requires patience, something you’ve proven not to have. It also requires an oven, so make sure you have a responsible adult or friend to supervise you. We don’t want any accidents happening, alright? The first step is to preheat the oven to 450 degrees. If you don’t know how to do this, it could be a good idea to ask the trusted adult. You’ll usually know that the oven has preheated because there will be a beeping sound. After you’re sure the oven has preheated, place the potato inside, directly on the oven rack. But make sure not to touch the oven rack! It’s very hot. You might want to use an oven mitt so you don’t have any accidents. Next, wait 60 minutes. After 60 minutes, it will be time to put your oven mitt back on and remove the potato. Your potato will soon be ready to eat, but not so fast! Potatoes are very hot when they come out of the oven, so be sure to let it cool. Once it cools, you are ready to eat your potato.
4. Pasta With Tomato Sauce (Challenge Recipe)
Since pasta with tomato sauce is probably the hardest recipe on this list, make sure you master the other three before attempting this one. This recipe is almost certainly going to be a challenge for you, so don’t feel bad if you mess up, okay? Just make sure you have someone to supervise you boiling the water because we know you can’t handle it yourself. The first step is to fill a medium-sized pot about halfway with water. Then you put that pot on the stove and turn up the dial that corresponds with the burner you’re using. Wait until the pot is rapidly bubbling with steam rising out the top (this won’t happen immediately, so feel free to watch some cartoons or color while you’re waiting). The bubbles and steam means it’s boiling. Once it’s boiling, put in the amount of pasta that you want to eat. But be careful! It’s very easy to cook too much. After about 9–11 minutes, you’re going to call over your trusted adult or friend to help you drain the water. Once the water is drained, put some pasta in a bowl and grab a jar of tomato sauce from the fridge. Pour some of (not all) the tomato sauce on the pasta, and that’s it! You’ve done it! Let’s celebrate by tucking in to that delicious bowl of pasta with tomato sauce. We know this was probably exceedingly difficult for you, so good job! You should be very proud of yourself.