NEWS

Ski Instructor Screaming ‘Pizza’ Must Be Hungry

Onlookers at Snowfall Mountain in Ontario, Canada have concluded that the ski instructor screaming ‘pizza’ as he chases ski school students must be hungry.

“Pizza!” screamed instructor Jake Whitman, as one of his six-year-old students uncontrollably sped towards the base of the mountain. “Pizza, pizza!”

As Whitman continued to scream, onlookers concluded that he must be craving a slice of pizza after a long morning of trying to control the young skiers at ski school.

“Pizza!” shouted Whitman again, for some reason focusing on lunch instead of a seven-year-old about to crash into a fence. “Pizza right now! Right now!”

Many parents agree it was irresponsible of Whitman to be focusing on food when he should be giving his full attention to keeping his students safe.

“You’d at least think he’d have some manners,” said snowboarder Maurine Hoffman. “Can’t he ask nicely instead of just demanding food as his students speed like bullets into tree trunks?”

At press time, Whitman seemed to have changed his mind and instead wanted french fries.

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