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5 Vacation Spots To Visit Before Your Ex-Husband Realizes You Still Have His Credit Card

So, the divorce is finalized. What better time than now to discover a new you? And to use your ex-husband Greg’s Discover card before he realizes you still have it. Don’t be shy — max out that card by visiting one of these beautiful vacation spots while you still can!

1. The Grand Canyon, USA

Celebrate your newfound freedom by visiting the only rift wider than the rift between you and Greg! This historic landmark will remind you of all the good times you shared, but more than that, it’ll remind you of all the times you had to hear, “I could totally make it across the Grand Canyon on my motorbike.” Well, look who’s a daredevil now, Greg! 

2. London, England 

‘Ello Divorcee! London is a classic location to start a fresh new life. It’s like visiting New York, except they all have cool accents Greg wouldn’t understand. Remember the time you tried to watch Harry Potter with him and you had to turn on subtitles? No subtitles required on this trip, you credit card queen!

3. Paris, France

Paris is the city of love, so there’s no better place to reach for the stars and Greg’s credit card limit! You can enjoy the fine French cuisine while scrolling through Greg’s instagram feed. You’re chowing down on a croissant; Greg is moving back in with his mom. Finally she’ll have him all to herself, and you can smooch a French guy and rack up on travel rewards points.

4. Tokyo, Japan 

Remember when Greg said that sushi was “the devil’s sub sandwich?” You can erase that memory and his bank account in stunning Tokyo! Step into a world totally different from your failed marriage and experience all that Japan has to offer, from the traditional architecture to modern achievements. And without Greg, you can have all the triple-money-sign sushi you want!

5. Sydney, Australia 

The world is your oyster thanks to the 16 digits on that piece of plastic Greg forgot you still had. So treat yourself to some good culture by visiting the famous Sydney Opera House! You can even experience the music from the front row if you want — all at a cost of zero dollars to you. That’s Greg’s problem, not yours. Maybe you’ll even find yourself a sexy bassist to replace the sound of Greg’s crying in your mind.

What’re you waiting for? Get out there and live! At least, until Greg’s credit card statement arrives.

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