NEWS

Long-Lost Weight Finally Returns Home

Redford, Michigan native Rachel Saunders was recently overcome with emotion after discovering that all the weight she had lost after graduating from college four years ago had finally returned.

Reports show that the formerly missing pounds found their way back to their rightful owner following Saunders’ decision to “let carbs back into [her] life.”

The lost weight, which was last seen prior to Saunders starting an intense regimen of SoulCycle classes, was left unclaimed until it was reunited with the 26-year-old.

Saunders reportedly found the misplaced poundage hiding in the Olive Garden bread baskets she ordered without a moment’s hesitation and at the bottom of multiple pints of cookie dough ice cream.

Initial reports of the reunion arose after the weight was spotted in a series of unflattering tagged photos of Saunders from last Christmas on Facebook.

“You know, ever since the weight returned, Rachel just hasn’t been the same,” noted close friend Anna Silman. “No doubt, it’s an unexpected and difficult homecoming. But I’m sure she’ll get used to having the old Rachel around in no time.”

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