WELLNESS

Vitamin D Pill Confidently Taken By Man In Need Of Antidepressants

After rising from bed this morning to face a new day, area man Michael Whitmore took a Vitamin D pill that will do nothing to prevent his crippling depression. 

 “I knew that in these winter months, Vitamin D was just what I needed to get back on track,” said Whitmore about the ineffective vitamin.

Unfortunately for Whitmore, the lack of sunshine fails to explain his chronic anxiety and deeply rooted self-esteem issues. 

“I mean, it’s no secret that people get a bit more sad this time of year,” said Whitmore, who is sad every time of year.

Medical records show that Whitmore was referred to a therapist four months ago, but he instead opted to purchase a three years’ supply of Vitamin D3. After his family expressed concerns for his health, however, Whitmore has recently agreed to upgrade to a multivitamin.

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