HEALTH

Help! We Started This Bloodletting With 8 Leeches, And Now We’re Only Counting 7

Could someone please lend us a hand? When we lay down for this bloodletting, we had eight leeches. That we are sure of — we counted them ourselves. Now, as the bleeding comes to an end, we’re only counting seven vampiric worms. 

We definitely started with eight: two for our arms, two for our legs, two for our chest, and one each for our back and buttocks. Now the one that was sucking infected blood from between our shoulder blades is gone, but it couldn’t have gone far, right?

We mean, this is leeches we’re talking about here. Don’t they live underwater? Shouldn’t they only be able to swim? We can’t imagine how they’d transport themselves over land. They’re a kind of worm, but they seem too fat to crawl or whatever. Plus, it’s probably full from our blood. 

Seriously, could someone help us figure this one out? We’re starting to feel a little woozy. We came here so these little vermin could drain our blood, but we didn’t mean for them to drain that much of our blood, okay? Gotta keep some for ourselves!

Oh wait never mind, we found it. Looks like the little sucker just made its way up behind our ear somehow. Wait, no, there is still a leech on our back. Then what’s this leech doing behind our ear? That makes nine leeches — where on earth did this ninth leech come from!?

Help Us! 

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