FEATURED NUTRITION

We Tried To Review The Impossible Whopper But Forgot To Say ‘Impossible’ Before Whopper, So Here’s Our Review Of The Whopper

As plant-based options continue to take over the accessible dining scene, fast food chains are getting in on the action — including Burger King, which now offers the Impossible Whopper, a take on its iconic Whopper. We wanted to review this new vegan sandwich but honestly just forgot to say “Impossible” before “Whopper” when we ordered, so we accidentally just got a regular Whopper. So, uh, here’s our review of the regular Whopper.

Sorry about that — this is a little embarrassing. But here it goes.

The most important part of any burger is the main event: the patty. How does the Impossible patty stack up to the original BK beef? Unfortunately we have no idea, but this one stacked up pretty evenly, because it was, you know, the regular beef. If the Impossible version tastes similar to this, though, then it’s probably pretty good?

Does it capture the famous burger’s renowned smokiness? The same firm outside and tender, juicy middle? Does it ooze the same delicious grease we’ve all come to know and love? Well, again, this one did, since it was the same burger.

Now, does the Impossible Whopper offer some health benefits for those who want a fun treat but don’t want their daily caloric intake to skyrocket? Probably, but we were so flustered by the time the food came, we forgot to check. We went to look it up on our phone, but our hands were so clammy, we dropped it and cracked the screen real bad. Maybe you can just look it up for yourself? We’re pretty sure that information is readily available online.

In conclusion, the Whopper is… you’ve had a Whopper before, right? It was the Whopper. We ate a Whopper. Again, we’re really sorry about this.

If it helps, we just ordered the new Beyond Sausage breakfast sandwich from Dunkin’, so as soon as we unwrap it we’ll start reviewing and — fucking god damn it we did it again.

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