NEWS

Area Dad Forced To Wear Cone To Stop Him Licking Vasectomy Wound

After an overnight stay at the hospital following his recent vasectomy, area dad Kurt Weinhart was made to wear a cone by his family to keep him from licking the stitches on his scrotum.

“Kurt, stop!” said Weinhart’s wife, Linda, gently swatting him in an attempt to prevent him from scratching at his inflamed testicles. 

According to family and friends, while the foot-wide cone placed around Weinhart’s neck has kept him from picking at his wounds with his teeth and potentially ruining his recent procedure, it has done nothing to stop his incessant whining and has caused him to bump into the coffee table several times.

“We knew this would be a problem when we went to get Kurt fixed,” said Linda Weinhart. “I even took several days off work just so I could watch him and make sure he doesn’t slip out of his cone and unravel his stitches.”

Linda Weinhart later added that, “It’s definitely worth it, though. Now we don’t have to worry about him impregnating anyone when he goes to the park and humps other women.” 

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