NEWS

Unsolicited Medical Advice Once Again Offered By Least Intelligent Person You Know

In an unsurprising turn, the least intelligent person you know once again offered you unsolicited medical advice.

Area woman Angela Kitchens couldn’t wait to offer her unasked-for opinion on how to treat your new ailment when she overheard you talking about it at a party last weekend.

“Most illnesses can be eliminated completely by cutting out gluten,” Kitchens said unprompted. “Have you tried that? Gluten’s so toxic. I haven’t touched bread in years and I only got giardiasis once from drinking river water. But it was basically like a free cleanse.”

When told that your health issue was being treated by an actual doctor with full knowledge of your medical history, Kitchens commented that according to her Uncle Marty who took one class on “body stuff,” almost every single doctor could be replaced by a soothing recording of the ocean and a bottle of gummy vitamins.

Unsolicited medical advice by ignorant acquaintances is on the rise according to a recent study by Dr. Natalie Peralta of the Truth In Health Institute.

“We’ve seen this trend for years on social media, but what alarms us is how common it has become to offer ridiculous advice that no one asked for, both on and off the internet,” said Dr. Peralta, “someone I was chatting with on the bus told me just last week that my arthritis is probably tied to an unresolved fear of skeletons. And I’m an actual doctor!”

Kitchens was last seen touting the benefits of natural deodorant to anyone on the subway who would listen.

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