Ahoy, Gentlemen O’ Fortune! Try This Here One Simple Trick Fer Eliminatin’ Scurvy

Ahoy-hoy thar, me boys! Kneel before me, boatswains, quartermaster, and all those who plow the sea! Gentlemen o’ fortune, gather ‘round as I regale ye sorry lads with a tale o’ this here one simple trick fer elimination’ scurvy!

Aye, are ye tired o’ yer teeth rottin’ out yer gums like barnacles on the underside of our fair galleon? Have ye had enough of yer salty skin scabbin’ about? I fer one am sick of ye lily-livered scallywags lyin’ down yer quarters in yer own sick instead of sweepin’ the dungbie like a good privateer oughta.

So lay down yer cutlasses and finish yer grog, because this here one simple trick fer eliminatin’ scurvy is so simple, doctors will hate you!

Like ye freebooters, I assumed scurvy was a curse from the angry god of the sea come upon us for thievin’ and leavin’ good men fer shark bait. But, argh, scurvy is caused by a deficiency of vitamin C. All we need to do to avoid rottin’ away in the salty deep is eat fruit of the citrus variety!


Divine emollient indeed, me brothers! So pour this here lime juice in yer bumpers o’ rum and let’s sing us a piratical tune.

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