NEWS

Resilient Tesla Survives Crash With Pedestrian

In a demonstration of master craftsmanship and state of the art engineering, a resilient Tesla car has reportedly survived an impact with a pedestrian in a crash yesterday morning.

“From the perspective of the Tesla, the pedestrian was barreling towards it at 60 miles per hour,” recounts witness John Rose, who saw the well-made vehicle drive gracefully onto the sidewalk. “The fact that the Tesla came out the other end with only a few dents and scratches shows how awesome of a car it really is. I’ve got to get me one!”

According to witnesses, the Tesla survived not only the collision with the pedestrian — but also the forceful impact of his wheelchair. According to reports from the scene of the accident, the pedestrian didn’t hear the Tesla approach him, as the car’s electric engine hummed with an impressively efficient whisper.

“After the accident, we all rushed over to make sure the Tesla was okay” continued Rose. “But just in case there was any internal damage to the vehicle, we called 911 and didn’t move the car off the pedestrian until the emergency responders arrived.”

At press time, a SpaceX rocket dazzled onlookers as it turned itself into a brilliant firework upon reentry.

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