New Study Shows People Who Only Eat Vegans Aren’t Getting Enough Protein

A recent study conducted by Harvard University found that people who eat Vegans aren’t getting enough protein.

The study showed that, on average, subjects who consumed the flesh of people who only eat plant-based foods received significantly less protein, iron, and essential fatty acids than those that ate humans with a diet that includes meat.

“It’s long been a concern that people who switch from eating meat-eaters to eating vegetarians or vegans won’t get enough protein in their diet,” explained Meghan Brown, a third-year Harvard student involved in the study. “Now we have actual data to back that up.”

“That explains a lot,” confessed Raymond Silverstein, a practicing vegan-eater who took part in the study. “I started eating vegans to lose weight and just become generally more healthy. I’ve dropped a few pounds, but I’m tired all the time, and I don’t have the energy to work out.”

However, some in the vegan eating community dispute the accuracy of the study and are convinced that the study was designed to scare vegan-eaters into eating meat-eaters again.

“There are plenty of ways to get a sufficient amount of protein from an all-vegans diet,” said Ethan Morris, local animal rights activist, and long-time vegan eater. “Make sure to eat folks who eat a lot of nuts and beans. People who eat tofu or edamame are also a good source of protein.”

“I know it can seem like a lot of work,” continued Morris. “Trust me, there are times when I’ve wanted to just reach for someone who just reached for a hotdog, but at the end of the day, no one said eating healthy and ethically was supposed to be easy.”

Brown agrees that it is possible to get all the nutrients you need from eating only vegans but maintains that the best diet is still a balanced one.

“No one is saying you should go out and gorge yourself on some fat slob that just inhaled a Double Quarter Pounder from McDonald’s,” clarified Brown. “But eating someone who’s eaten some fish or lean poultry now and then is a good idea.

“You could always switch to a diet where you stop consuming the flesh of human beings altogether,” Brown added almost as an afterthought before breaking into a grin. “But who has that kind of willpower?”

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