Is working for Amazon putting a strain on your bladder? Don’t worry — we’ve got you covered. With these five water bottles, you can sneak a quick bathroom break and be back to work before old man Bezos even knows you’re gone!
The Fiji water bottle is perfect for a quick tinkle in the back of your delivery van or truck. Its square shape means that you won’t lose your grip while peeing into it, an important feature as any driver who’s accidentally splashed their uniform and had to walk around smelling like piss all day can attest.
Working for Amazon means you usually have to pee and flee. That means stashing your Mello Yello and hoping no one finds it before you can dispose of it later. The benefit of peeing in a Monster Hydro bottle is if someone does find it and drink it, they won’t notice a difference.
There are definitely cheaper options out there, but if you want something discreet, you can’t go wrong with Perrier. The bottle’s green glass ensures that no one will be able to tell what’s inside, keeping your bladder spatter safe from any prying eyes.
While technically a can and not a bottle, an empty Liquid Death makes an ideal receptacle for your urine. The can’s metal reverberates as it fills, meaning that you can hear when to stop going leaving your eyes free to watch out for any looky-loos. The only downside is the sharp metal around the can’s opening. Be careful with your equipment, or you might end up peeing into a bag instead.
Great Value Gallon Jug
It’s cheap, it holds a lot of liquid, and the opening is a bit wider than the other bottles on the list, making it the perfect container to practice with regardless of what you’re packing. A word of advice: don’t actually drink the water first, just pour it out. Your stomach will thank you.