Loser On Antidepressants Still Comes Too Fast

Area total fucking loser Ken Murphy recently baffled experts by regularly ejaculating in record short times despite taking daily prescribed SSRIs.

Murphy, 27, initially asked his doctor about making the switch to Lexapro after he caught a commercial that revealed delayed ejaculation as one of the side effects.

“When I was taking Wellbutrin, I just couldn’t shit right for weeks,” Murphy said. “Now I’m on this Lexapro stuff, and I’m racking up speeding tickets. Talk about a raw deal.”

Murphy explained what he believes to be the science behind his shortcomings, stating that the newfound lack of sensitivity in his brain reversed course and then relocated to his big hairy nutsack.

These details could not be confirmed.

“Sure, the sex is quick,” said Janet Byers, Murphy’s girlfriend. “I’m just glad he’s not crying about it anymore.”

Based on his research findings, a deflated Murphy concluded that he’s probably the only dumb shit that this is happening to.

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