Recent reports show that area man Jeremy Stilton, who just devoured five whole bags of potato chips, has been questioning the feasibility of drinking five glasses of water per day.
“One glass? Sure. Maybe. But five?” asked Stilton, 29, as he opened another bag of Miss Vicky’s Salt and Vinegar. “There’s just not enough room in the average stomach.”
Witnesses claim that Stilton was sitting on his couch surrounded by family size bags of Lays, as the aroma of salt, barbecue seasoning, and perspiration lingered in his living room.
“I’m not saying the scientists are wrong,” said Stilton, sucking chip dust off his fingers, “but I have to do what’s best for my body.”
While members of Stilton’s family have long been explaining the importance of drinking water to stay hydrated, Stilton claims that a two-liter of Coke does the trick.
Stilton was last spotted needing to lie down, feeling the first signs of one of the inexplicable headaches he experiences every few hours.