Recent reports show that Libertyville, IL man Mike Gutt was spotted yesterday excitedly loading organic vegetables into his cart, which will all certainly rot to waste in his refrigerator.
According to roommate Dave Roman, Gutt claimed he was looking forward to cooking healthier this week.
“I’ve been getting takeout a lot and figured I should try something new. It’s so much cheaper to cook for yourself!” said Gutt, as he purchased $52 of produce that he will not consume.
Gutt was most excited to pick out a bag of healthy mixed greens, which he said seemed like something he’d definitely eat this week at some point, probably.
“All this shopping has me pretty worn out! Who knew going to the store was this much work?” said Gutt to a cashier, after spending about an hour identifying and selecting which vegetables he could sort of imagine eating. “Might order a pizza tonight as a reward, who knows! But tomorrow, I can’t wait to make something with all this great fresh food.”
Gutt’s preferred takeout location did not respond for comment, saying only that they respect the privacy of their best customer.