Now that you’re divorced, you need everyone to know that you’re still sexy and fit. So check out these wildly tight and wildly expensive Lululemon leggings! Be sure to tell the sales associate you’re divorced so they can point you in the right direction. These are exactly what you need to look hot, healthy, and one million times better than that woman your ex-husband Donald keeps posting pictures with on Facebook.
1. Fast and Free Hi-Rise Tight
These moveable, running-friendly tights will give you all the support you need to show everyone that Donald Hampkins is no longer your man. The next step is to take down the 20 wedding pictures in your living room.
2. Base Pace High-Rise Tight
These super tight leggings will let everyone know that just because you’re divorced doesn’t mean you don’t workout three times before 12 pm every day. You’ve earned that Double-Stuf container of Oreos in your purse!
3. Wonder Train High Rise Crop
These high-waisted leggings are sexy as hell and if Donald could see you now, maybe he wouldn’t have left you for that 22-year-old wench. But let’s just focus on the leggings! Maybe they’ll even let you become a Lululemon brand ambassador.
4. Lululemon Align™ High-Rise Pant 25″
These bright yellow leggings scream “I’m still desirable!”
5. Nulu High-Rise Yoga Crop
You do yoga now because you’re divorced, and these completely nude yoga pants will let everyone know you’re single AF, and also, this is what you would look like naked. Remember to not send pics of you doing yoga to Donald. Or not to send them again.
6. Gloss Trim Super High Rise
These glossy leggings… oh fuck it, you don’t even care. You need Donald back. Take those pants off. They’re too tight.